It was one of those nights you can only dream of. He bought me wine and a cheese plate it was wonderful. I secretly wished we could stay in this place forever, I knew better than to try to make that happen. He has a fiance, And I'm just the one who he comes to when he’s down and out. I don’t like doing this to my friend but what other choice do I have, I love him and all that he’s worth.
He makes me feel alive and wanted. If only I can find a guy of my own to give me such a dream come true.
“Ash I have to go, Julie will get worried” He said as he reached for his coat. I grabbed his hand before he could reach it
“Well let her worry” I said as I tried to ease in for a kiss. He backed away and looked at me as if I just committed murder.
“You know how I feel about that” He said as he backed away from me. He grabbed his coat and rushed for the door.
“Steve please” I begged as he turned around for me to see the bleak cold stare in his eyes.
He walked out the door and slammed it with such force it felt like my house shook from the impact.
“Yeah well go on and leave like everyone else” I said and pouted my lips. I walked to the stairs and headed for my bedroom. Midway up the steps I realized I had things in my hands, I can control this I thought to myself. I turned around and headed back down stairs. I grabbed the phone as I plopped down on the sofa.
“Hello” said a woman’s voice on the other end of the phone.
“Hey Julie, How are you” I asked as I tried to seem like nothing was wrong.
“Hey Ash, What’s up” she asked.
“Oh nothing just called because I missed you” I said as I secretly knew I didn’t.
We talked for twenty minutes before I heard her door close shut.
“Who’s that” I asked as if I didn’t know.
“Oh just Steve coming in from work.” She said as I heard her kiss him. As I heard the noise of their lips touching it made me angry on the inside. I secretly hated her, Maybe I hated her because she was always the popular one. Maybe I hated her because I could never have what she has. She was my only real friend beside Mary the computer geek. “Ashley” She yelled as I came out of my daydream.
“Ash you okay your drifting” She asked with a distant sound of concern in her voice. I didn’t answer I just kept quiet.
“Well, I have to go” she said as if she hated talking to me on the phone.
I heard her say goodbye as I went to hang up. I turned on the TV and tried to drown these thoughts from my head only to fail as I gently laid on the sofa and went to sleep. The next morning when I awoke I could still smell his cologne in the air. Oh how I longed to have him by my side day and night. I headed upstairs for my morning shower, As I scrubbed myself I couldn’t help but to think of his touch. As I getting dressed I realized I could have him all to myself sooner than I thought.
I headed downstairs and grabbed my keys off the coffee table and headed out the door. I got in my car and made my way to Julie’s house. When I arrived I could see Steve kissing her goodbye. I parked my car and got out Steve passed and gave me a blank stare. It was like he knew why I was there, He knew what I was thinking. I moved past him and stepped on the porch.
“Hey” I said as I move in to hug Julie. She looked at me as if I did something wrong, I took a step back and straightened my face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked although I already knew what was coming.
“It’s ten in the morning, What are you doing here?” She says as she turns to look me in the face. I didn’t know what to say, What could have been my excuse? I was stumped I came here for a reason but she couldn’t know.
“To see what you guys were doing silly” I said as I tried the ease the awkwardness away. She looked at me with a blank stare as if she didn’t know what to say. I turned to look at Steve as he got into his car, I stared for as long as I could.
“Don’t you think its kind of early” she said as she touched my arm.
I turned to face her only to see a puzzled look on her face. She looked like she didn’t want me there. Like I was a disgusting bug she had to get rid of. I know I'm not the most pleasant girl but I'm still a person.
“I’ll just go” I said as I slowly backed away from her door. She didn’t try to stop me and I didn’t want to stay. I headed towards my car and was going home.
I got home to see Steve’s car was there. I hurried to park my car and see him. Finally I have him with me again, I can kiss his soft pink lips. As I got out my car Steve was standing there looking at me with his big blue eyes.
“We have to talk Ash” he said as he turned away from me and walked to my door. I quickly followed to see what was bothering him. We slowly entered the house and headed for the living room.
“What’s wrong baby?” I asked as I tried to grab his hand. He pulled away from me before I could even touch him. He had a serious look on his face, A look I've never seen before.
He paced through the living room as he thought of what to say.
“Look Ash I know things with us are great” He said as he looked the other way.
“I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep lying to Julie, I don’t want to hurt her” He said as he turned to face me. He looked at me and my eyes grew wide I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“You can’t do what” I asked as if I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Me and you I can’t do it anymore.” He said as he grabbed my arms.
“I love my wife and that’s who I'm going to be with, I can’t be with you anymore” he says as he tries to make his voice sound strong and demanding.
“I don’t want to hurt or lose her” He said as he let go of my arms. I just stood there with a blank face, I was in shock what could I have said. He turned and scuffled to the door “What about me? What about my feelings?” I shouted as he headed towards the door. He stops in his tracks and just stood there.
“What about I Love You Ash” I said as I began to cry.
“You Lied to me, All this time, Get Out!” I shouted and threw a china cup towards his direction. He didn’t hesitate to leave, He drove off as if nothing happened. I stood in the middle of my living room crying, I cried like I was a child who just fell and needed her mother.
I felt so cold and lonely at that moment. I wanted to just kill myself, No one wanted me. Even my friends didn’t want me, I felt worthless without him. I had to have him no matter what.
“If I can’t have him no one will” I said to myself as if someone could hear me. I had thoughts of hate enter my mind, it was like something took over my mind. I wanted to get him back no matter what the consequences were. I ran to the other side of my living room and picked up the phone and dialed Julie.
“Hello” Said the woman on the other line.
“Julie” I said weeping into the phone so she could hear me.
“Whats wrong Ash? What happened?” she asked in a worried voice.
“He left me Julie” I said as I continued to weep.
“Who left you” She asked in a confused voice. I gasped and quickly hung up. The nerve of her to ask such a stupid question.
“She will see” I said as I laid down on the sofa and cried myself to sleep. When I awoke it was already night by the sounds from outsides. I looked over at the clock and it read 3:14am,
“Perfect” I thought. I went into the kitchen and grabbed one of my knives from the draw and put it in my purse. I had dreamt of doing this and I will do it to have him.
“No matter what” I said to myself before I left my house. I got into my car and headed for Julie’s house. I parked my car far away from her house and walked the rest of the way. I arrived at her door and stood there for a minute before I got my self together to do this. I reached into my purse and dug out my cell phone. I called Julie and began to weep. “Julie I'm outside please let me in” I said trying to sound as sad as I possibly could. She hung up and I could hear her come down the stairs.
She opened the door and let me in and we went into her kitchen.
“Ash what’s wrong please tell me, I want to help” She said as she got me a cup of water. As she had her back turned I reached into my purse and grabbed the knife, I got up and walked towards her. She turned around and nearly hit me with the glass, She looked at my face and put the glass on the counter.
“Here this is what you need” She said as she hugged me tight. I reached my hands up as if I was going to hug her and plunged my knife into her back.
I felt her flinch and gasp from the impact. I pulled it out slowly as she tried to get away.
“Ash please don’t hurt me” she pleaded as she fell to the floor.
“I have to it’s the only way” I tried to explain to her.
I stood over her on the floor and stabbed her three more times. She choked on her own blood for almost three minutes then all movement stopped. I stood over her lifeless body and looked her in her eyes.
“The job is done” I thought to myself. I dropped the knife and quickly headed up the stairs. I entered Steve’s bedroom and stood in the doorway.
“Who was that honey” He asked without moving from his spot on the bed.
“Just me” I said in a sexy voice.
He jumped up and turned on the light.
“What the hell are you doing in my bedroom” He shouted as he hurried out of the bed.
“Don’t worry you can’t hurt her anymore, Your all mines now” I said as I moved towards him. He looked confused.
“What?” He asked as if he didn’t comprehend the moment.
“You don’t have to worry anymore baby” I said as I touched his face. He grabbed my hand and pushed me to the side. He ran down stairs into all the rooms. When he reached the kitchen I could hear him shouting. I ran down stairs and into his kitchen. I looked over at him bent over hugging her body and crying.
“Why are you crying? This is what you wanted” I said as I got closer to him. He turned his head and looked at me and then focused on her again.
“This is not what I wanted, I didn’t want her to die, I loved her” He said cradling her body.
“Why would you do this what the fuck is wrong with you?” he said trying to catch his breath.
“I did this for you, You know what you wanted. You said you loved me” I said as I bent down to face him. He quickly stood up and looked down on me
“I don’t love you, That was a mistake. I don’t want anything to do with you” He said wiping his face of tears.
“I’m calling the cops he yelled as he tried to go for the phone.
“No” I screamed and picked up the knife. I ran to him and stabbed him in his leg. He yelled and fell to the floor, He lye there clenching his leg in pain.
“You said you wanted to be with me and have a perfect family” I said as I stood over his body.
“You promised you would never hurt me. I fucking love you” I said as I began to giggle a little.
“I love everything about you, I want you and only you. If I can’t have you no one will” I said as I put my knife to his neck.
“Please Ash don’t do this please” He begged as he tried to move my hand. I bent over and kissed his forehead, I tried to tend to his wound but he pushed me away.
“Don’t touch me” he said and spit at me.
I stood up and scratched my forehead with the tip of the knife.
“You shouldn't have did that” I said as I turned my back to him.
“I will never love you” he shouted as I turned around and stuck my knife into his gut, He yelped and tried to grab me. I stabbed him once and he yelped like a dog.
“I loved you and you lied to me. All the years, all the laughs, now replaced with Pain.” I said out loud as I stabbed and stabbed until chucks of meat were on the floor. I stood up to see what I have done and dropped the knife as I grabbed my mouth.
I looked over at Julie a girl I called my best friend Lying on her kitchen floor dead. Dead because I killed her only to have her boyfriend. I turned and looked at the man I loved now laying in pieces on the floor.
“Now what do I do” I thought to myself.
“I’m covered in blood and it’s not mine” I shouted at the ceiling. I ran to the door and burst it open, As it opened it set off the burglar alarm I knew I had to get out of there.
I ran down the street towards my car, It wasn’t long before I heard the sirens of the cop cars coming near. I quickly jumped into my car and sped off, I was going so fast I was sure someone seen me or even heard me. I could hear the sirens becoming faint as I sped off around town. I drove up to my house and quickly ran inside. I ran upstairs and into the bathroom still covered in blood. I looked into the mirror and saw all the dried blood on my face.
I turned on the water and cried as I washed the blood from my face and hands.
“What have I done?” I asked myself.
“Now no one can have him” I thought as I sobbed over the sink. I’ve killed the only man I ever loved. I gave myself the most painful hurt anyone can ever endure I thought as I stared at my wet face in the mirror. I ran me a bath and quickly headed to my room. I grabbed my old radio and a tube of lipstick, As I walked back to the bathroom I couldn’t help but think of the old times with Steve.
I plugged in my radio and sat it on the tub, I grabbed the tub of lipstick and scribbled on my tub wall. I peeled off my clothes and slowly got into the tub. The water turned red from the blood on my body, As I looked in the water I couldn’t help but weep. Soon everyone would know what I have done. They’ll call me crazy I thought as I sat in the tub crying. I’m not crazy I'm just in love. I looked down at the red stained water, I closed my eyes and looked up at the ceiling “I’m sorry” I cried out as I pushed the radio into the tub. I could see my lifeless body floating in the tub. I looked at the wall and it read: He Was My Secret Obsession. Death Of A Broken Heart. I disappeared into the night and began a new life in Death.